by Carmen Kelley
Going on a first date: Boy: Jack
Oh my god, why do I already smell like BO. I just took a shower! Damn that Swagger All Spice body wash. Ahh geez, okay, get it together. Should I text her i’m on my way? Oh god what’s her address again? Hmmm what should I say, uhhh, “hey Lily, your hair looks really shiny”, “oh hey Lily, didn’t see you there! I was just hanging out… on your street…. On your porch.. Umm”. Oh! “Hey girl, are you Paris? Cause Eiffel for you”, oh god. AGH I’m overthinking it. Come on Jack stop it! Just be normal! Oh no. I’m gonna have to walk by mom in the kitchen to get to the door. Oh jeez she’s gonna ask me where i'm going. Hm.. going to Joe’s house? No, I went there yesterday. Ah! Going to see a movie with Stan. Yes, that works *walks to kitchen*…. Oh fuck, why is Stan’s mom here. Dammit. Shit, she’s not gonna believe me…. What movie? Uhhh, Dumbo? YES. Ok good… wait why did I say that? I don’t even like Dumbo. Whatever. LILY IM COMING FOR YOU! Ok, text sent, car on….yee-haw. Hah, I’m funny… ok which one’s her house? Hmmmm 1413….1417….1423! Perfect. Ahhhhh its ok Jack, shake it out. Why is your hair sticking up like that?!! Eghh ew how can hair gel taste so bad when it smells so good?... Ok, here we go. Ouch that hurt my knuckles… did they hear me? Should I knock again? I hope they don’t think i'm some mad guy trying to break into their house. AH the door is opening!!! BREATH, BREATH, BREA-
*static plays in his mind*
Oh god, how long was I standing there? Oh my GOD she’s so pretty, wow her hair really is shiny! I wanna touch it- STOP Jack, be cool. Don’t just stand there, say something! Ok good, she laughed, I mean it wasn’t a joke, all I said was “hi” but that's ok, laughing is ok.