sometimes

by Anonymous

sometimes things happen to you and you don’t know why.
you can’t figure it out, and it sucks, because things are supposed to happen for a reason,
cause and effect, right?
the cause can’t be determined, so you can’t stop it. 
you can’t stop feeling this way because you dont even know where it came from. 
then all you can do is feel it.
feel horrible.
icky. 
unwanted.
you can’t think about it, that gets you nowhere. 
you just have to let go and let yourself be ruled by those emotions,
and maybe that’ll suck too, for a bit…
but i’m hoping it will reveal something to me. 
something to solve the problems that, according to this diary, i’ve been facing for a while. 

 

sometimes i just put on a sweatshirt and lay on my bed and give up
because living with those emotions can be so so hard, 
especially when the world rejects emotions as gross, feminine, or weak,
but i can't live any other way, 
i dont know how!

 

sometimes all i know is that i feel horrible,
and all i can do is hope that i learn something from it

maybe i'm falling apart so i can feel fixed when i'm put back together.